Boys Night Out - Trainwreck

Boys Night Out - Trainwreck lyrics

Introducing
Dreaming
Waking
Sentencing
Medicating
Purging
Relapsing
Recovering
Composing
Disintegrating
Healing
Dying

Introducing

Test, check. Well, he's been released again today, and I'm back where I started: Looking over old notes, listening to tapes, wondering how bad I potentially messed up this time. The wounds seem to be healing and he seems to be getting along, without his appendages. And I know he seemed fine; seems can be a very dangerous word, especially in this business - it can be fatal. Initial diagnosis - catatonic. I know he's back there somewhere, but there's just no response whatsoever, to any kind of stimulus. We'll start him with medication tomrorow - I'm sure of it. This man's tragedy has made him a prisoner in his own body. And it's not just tragedy, it's dementia, despair. It's this hole I can see in each of his eyes. For all the events that happened in this real world, kind of just fall through. It's loneliness in it's most crippling form: the kind that no amount of love, or human contact could ever mend. The patient was plagued by violent nightmares; terrible, deeply troubling dreams which one night overflowed into reality and he murdered his wife, in his sleep. These people were in love, deeply in love; and it was that love, filling those holes I can now see behind his eyes and it's my job to try to fill those holes with something else, but with what? Hope? I can fill his holes with drugs, soothing words - that's all. I hope his wounds will heal with time, but right now, things aren't looking good.

These lines I wear around my wrist are there to prove that I exist. [x4]

(patient): It's inside my torso, behind my eyes, in the back of my head. It feels like something's eating me alive, from the inside out.
(doctor): Well, that's grief, loss.
(patient): Don't tell me what it is.

Dreaming

On some nights you'll find me falling.
I am formless, I am shapeless.
And on some nights i am better left alone.
You take it all in from some severed state of stasis.
You scream "wake up!" inside your own body
But you're buried...or suffocating...or worse.
Tonight it's worse. Tonight the screaming hurts.

Chorus
Tonight I'm wrapped up in her.
We find each other under blankets as warm as summer.
We are inseperable.
Our bodies know what they're for and we give in,
We explore each other, desperate for something inseperable.

This coma kiss is infinite, and I may take your tongue if you stay.
We are this dream - fluid and intricate. We made it that way.
Every nightmare needs influence, and your body turning blue as you lay directly next to me colours this on in blueish hues and darker grays.

Everyday when I awake, I'm shaking or worse.
Tonight it's worse. Tonight the screaming hurts...

Chorus
Last night as I was wrapped up in her
I drowned her body under blankets as warm as summer.
We were inseperable.
So this is what has become of everything that I loved.
The betrayal and the blood became inseperable
From the most beautiful nightmare I've ever had.
Completely inseperable.

I see her hair spread across the floor
Entangled in the telephone cord.
Our favourite songs been repeating all night.
Someone call an ambulance because somethings not right.

Waking

I dialed 911 a long time ago.
Now I see how late they're reacting.
Here shakes a former lover/husband And there lies the wife
of a train wreck just waiting to happen.

Chorus
My God, make this a dream because i really can't believe that she's gone.
I'm not here and this isn't happening.
Make this a dream because I really can't believe that she's gone.
We'll wake up and she'll be next to me.
I can't believe that she's gone.

Marvel at this madman as this make-shift monster rips through the room.
Watch in in fear as he comes completely unglued.
Gaze in horror and amazement for a frightening instant
As he christens the walls with broken bottles of perfume.
Her few, final moments must have been a nightmare in waking.
Victim lies, violently shaking.

Chorus

I cant breathe...
I dont deserve to take these breaths.
All I need is to sit and rest my head on my knees
The ambulance and police will be here soon.

I can't see. I can't feel.
I'm numb to everything,
Except my body shutting down as they enter my home.

Sentencing

The smell of her perfume
Struggles to cover everything,
Inside this ringing room
Though once subdued, the silence seems to sing
Whoa-oh, I told you so!
Whoa-oh, I told you so!

My name is evidence
My role is undeniable
Unless I've become inadmissable
In crimes of consequence,
I'm only as reliable as the defendant's defense is defendable

I am the kill
though I'm unwilling to be still and accept evil
as my own personal - and sentient will

Nothing makes sense anymore
When murder's just a smistake that you have made
Nothing makees sense anymore
So a sick and guilty man will be born again with conscience saved

Judicial precendent will see to that
I'll see to that
He'll see to that
It's impossible given the incident,
Given his catatonic state, to imagine it playing out any other way

He was admitted on that day
As the doctor read his case,
There were implausibilities he couldn't place
It was obvious that there was something more to this patient
Something had been missed
It's this hole I can see in each of his eyes
where all the events that happen in this real world just kind of fall through.
It's loneliness, it's loneliness

Nothing makes sense anymore
When murder's just a mistake that you have made
Nothing makes sense anymore
So a sick and guilty man will be born again with conscience saved

Medicating

When you wake up to white walls
And endless halls
There's an emptiness that echoes through it all
So sit back in your bed
With your mind medicated
And your senses stuck on the sick scent of the dead.
You can call for the doctor
It's all you've got any more
He's the ticket to the life you had before
If I could just make them see that I don't need this

Doctor, doctor what am I here for?
Can't you see that I don't need this place?
I don't need these walls.
I'm no threat at all.
Doctor, doctor what am I here for?
Can't you see that I don't need this place?
I don't need these walls.
I'm no threat at all.

Is there a way we could maybe through therapy
Find a way to rate and release me
I just need to be outside
Even if supervised
Get back to my job, back to my life

Yes I know what I've done and I regret it every day
If I could make things right you know I'd find a way
But when I wake up to these white walls
And the endless halls of the hospital
I get lost in the emptiness that echoes through it all

Doctor I can't thank you enough
Doctor I can't thank you enough
Doctor you won't regret this
Doctor you won't regret this

Purging

The first night after your released,
no one expects you to get much sleep.
Your the waking walking dead.
In my case, I'm not much better.
Walk through the kitchen and grab a marker.
Trace the path the blood will flow.

The lines I wear around my wrists are there to prove that I exist.
Tomorrow it will be easier to forgive myself, and remember her
without a guilty head, these nightmare lines, an empty heart.
We take for granted all the things that make us who we are.
Get up. Get dressed. Go to work. They all know who you are.
They can't believe you'd show up here, but that's just who they are.
Set up shop at your machine, calibrate, remember who you are.

Here lies clarity in a perfect grave comprised of perfect steel.
The perfect blade glows a perfect white against the perfect lines from this perfect night.
I'm the perfect picture of complacency, and that's all I feel.

Slow motion replaces real time,
as the horror fills their eyes.
These claws will never kill again.
[These lines I wear around my wrists
are there to prove that I exist..
..these lines I wear around my wrists..]
I am a monster clothed in crimson sleeves
and perforated lines where my wrists should be.
A warehouse full of workers scramble like a pack of
bewildered wolves as my world turns black,
and I fall. [x5]

Relapsing

Last call at the hospital
You slept through it all
And these four walls warn you
That your surgery, it might not be the key
To fix the memory of you and me

Doctor I don't know what I've done
There's more to this than my
Ex-love and my ex-limbs could ever in my life begin to explain
Everytime I think of her and what went on that night
I don't see it, instead i hear it
A song so awful and so perfect

Last call at the hospital
You slept through it all
And these four walls warn you
That your surgery, it might not be the key
To fix the memory of you and me

Doctor I don't know what I'm gonna do
I need this song to be shouted out
And to be heard by everyone
Its like each word and every chord refuses to be ignored
This is bigger than me
But with no hands and even less skill
I don't know how it ever will come out

Doctor I think it's her I hear
It's always been
But if this pain can be arranged
In such a way to bring out beauty
Then, well, who am I to stop it?
I'll bring her back and I won't stop until it's done
Until this nightmare's undone
I need her

Last call at the hospital
You slept through it all
And these four walls warn you
That your surgery, it might not be the key
To fix the memory of you and me

I need her
I need this
The saddest songs can sing themselves, and just sing along
So if death's the answer, then the question is the trigger
And I'm just the firing pin.
Yeah I'm just a messenger
So if death's the answer, then the question is the trigger
And I'm just the firing pin.
And I'm just a messenger
Doomed to detonate on delivery

Last call at the hospital
You slept through it all
And these four walls warn you
That your surgery, it might not be the key
To fix the memory of you and me

Last call at the hospital
(of you and me)
You slept through it all
(of you and me)
And these four walls warn you
(of you and me)
That your surgery, it might not be the key
(of you and me)
To fix the memory of you and me

Recovering

old habits die hard, growing bitter from trying to be broken
while these comfortable routines are smothered with affection
well, i choose to switch between the two
i choose whatever convinces you, that I should be allowed to
slip through the cracks and get back to the living
these walls are unforgiving
send someone to check on me and take notes on my recovery

one pill will get me through the day
but I take two anyway
when I take three pills the song begins to play
one that won't go away. And even though I know
one pill will get me through the day
I take two anyway
when I mix four pills with a drink the song starts to play
its in the back of my head and its everywhere
and its all I can think about

its all spinning out of control
for one day this thing is out of my hands
while under severe supervision,
everything is, everything is
but when unsuspected, addiction is under the radar
and anything goes, so here I sit,
comatose almost

I float between hospitals and halfway homes
between halfway living and halfway lying
and I know all the awful things that no one needs to know
I take my medicine and make them believe that i'm a better man

but still I hear the song
its everywhere
surrounding me and ringing in my ears.
the perfect song will call for sedatives, sacrifice and sing-alongs
so sing along

Composing

It's all about the song in my head
The one where the audience is all dead

These days they're allowing
Visitation to aid in my rehabilitation
To make these days mean so much more to me
I beg friends and family for forgiveness
And now for the first time together we'll witness
Together we'll live this song I've been living incessantly
So come sing with me
Through these poison pills and chemicals
I know that you'll be something beautiful
And brilliant, release will be instant
I'm sorry its the only way

It's all about the song in my head
The one where the audience is all dead

So come over to my house
Catch up over dinner
We're having strychnine and sirloin

Port wine and paint thinner
You'll convulse through the chorus
It's the song of the sinner
As I slowly clear the table
I know that this wont be the last time
It won't be the last time
We wrote this song
And the world will sing it
To me it's everything, to me it's everything, to me it's
On every corpse I see, her face, my love, my heart
I hear her laughter and she's still alive
It's like she's still alive
It's in her body I'm holding
As we make love
My heart breaks everytime I dismember the flesh
Hide the evidence and start again because

It's all about the song in my head
The one where the audience is all dead
(with your last breath - only through death, our voices will join together)

Disintegrating

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
This halfway house is home to a madman.
His ghosts, and his perfect song.
This year has been bruised and broken in so many ways that days have long since been abolished.

But if all of this could bring my love back to me...
I'd do away with the drugs and the drink...and the body count could cease.
I've sensed her here, but I know that we're destined to stay seperated.
...and this is all my fault.
For what it's worth, it's worsening, and my song demands an ending...closure.
Karma can't control the beast I've born to swallow us whole.
Yes, my heart may beat again - but we all need medicine.
So forgive me, love, I'm choosing a fitting end to the abusing.
Last night, I leapt through the ceiling.
There was just something appealing about leaving my body behind and coming through as you circled overhead.
I said all the things that had been missing from the funeral that I had been forbidden from taking any part in.
And you forgave me for everything while the victims of the song sounded their applause.
"The doctor has to go." was the last thing that you said as I found my body back in bed
...but then, i guess it's always been his job to fix this.
For what it's worth, it's worsening, and my song demands an ending...closure.
Karma can't control the beast I've born to swallow us whole.
Yes, my heart may beat again - but we all need medicine.
So forgive me, love, I'm choosing a fitting end to the abusing.
For what it's worth, it's worsening, and my song demands an ending...closure.
Karma can't control the beast I've born to swallow us whole.
And yes, my heart may beat again - but we all need medicine.
So forgive me, love, I'm choosing a fitting end to the abusing.

Healing

baby, maybe you've got something
i think that maybe we're on to something big
bigger than i could have ever imagined

tonight, it's worse
tonight the screaming hurts
tonight, it's worse
tonight the screaming hurts

baby, let me collect some things
i think that maybe we're coming to the end
i'll call the doctor
this song finishes with him

tonight, it's worse
tonight the screaming hurts
tonight, it's worse
tonight the screaming hurts

music this magnificent
and medicine are one and the same
they make life worth living;
hearts worth healing

come and get it
now I've got it
come and get it
the ending to my song
Oh doctor, thanks for everything, i'm healing

but i feel like i forgot something
i'm thinking maybe i'm missing something big
bigger than i could have ever imagined

forget it, let me collect my things
i think that finally we're coming to the end
the doctor's here, now it's over
i hear the door knob turn...

music this magnificent
and medicine are one and the same
they make life worth living
hearts worth healing
(tonight it's worse)

Dying

[Singing:]
Picture yourself in a nightmarish scene of such
grotesque complexity that you'd kill to be dreaming.
Your body's been dying, while your mind has been trying
to make you picture a life where you'd kill for your
lover and a song in your head. The deaths of countless
others simply set up the lyrics for your symphony.
That's where you'll find me.

[Speaking:]
something awful has happened here..this is,
this is so much worse than i ever could have imagined
i knew it all along that this man should not have been released
god, what's happened here, he's completely torn his entire apartment apart
the smell is overpowering, a fowl pungent odor,
like rotten food or i don't know, possibly something worse
but there's something else that's almost overpowering
i think its a woman's perfume, oh no..no..
i found the patient he's lying on the floor in the center of the living room
completely naked, emaciated, deathly pale, it appears he hasn't eaten anything at all for weeks
the infection has spread up his arms, it must have reached his brain
there's bulging bright red veins all the way up from his wrist to his neck
there's empty bottles everywhere, of alcohol and medication
my god this smell is sickening
there's blood coming out of his mouth nose ears
he's not dead yet, but he's close
i failed, this is my fault
and somehow, he's smiling at me, i think he's whispering something,
no, not just whispering, i think he's singing......

[Background singing:]
Now, place your ear to my lips.
Trace these notes with your fingertips.
They dance alone on my last breath.
This is the end. This is death.

[Singing:]
the lines i wear around my wrist are there to prove that i exist
[20x]
(someone call an ambulance, because something's not right)
(the smell of her perfume struggles to cover everything)

we were inseparable
[6x]

Boys Night Out - Trainwreck lyrics

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