Bowling For Soup - The Great Burrito Extortion Case

Bowling For Soup - The Great Burrito Extortion Case lyrics

Epiphany
High School Never Ends
Val Kilmer
I'm Gay
Why Don't I Miss You?
A Friendly Goodbye
Luckiest Loser
Love Sick Stomach Ache (Sugar Coated Accident)
Much More Beautiful Person
Friends Like You
When We Die
99 Biker Friends
Don't Let It Be Love
If You Come Back To Me/Outro

Epiphany

Stop before you get my started
Maybe I'll just go
I'm not exactly broken hearted
But I think you already know
That there's more to the story that I'm givin' up
Maybe I should just grow up

There's a picture of a girl somewhere
That fits this empty frame
And there's a song here somewhere with a happier refrain
It came to me, I think they call it an epiphany
Man that's a big word

[Chorus:]
All I ever wanted was a little extra ordinary
Somewhat somewhat documented
And depicted in this book of memories
That's as empty as a broken glass,
Or a gas tank in my car
If you can hear me now,
Come out, come out, wherever you are

I try so hard not to remember
I wish I could forget
The thoughts of you in syndication
Just like the time I met Joan Jett
At a Grammy party on a Saturday night
After you and me had a big fight

There's a picture of a boy somewhere that fits your empty frame
I tried switching the station,
But the song stays the same
It came to me, think they call it an epiphany
That line was lame

[Chorus:]
All I ever wanted was a little extra ordinary
Somewhat somewhat documented
And depicted in this book of memories
That's as empty as a broken glass
Or a gas tank in my car
If you can hear me now,
Come out, come out, wherever you are

[Bridge]
Are you still at home?
Or did you go to Rome?
I swear I think I saw you on some Italian movie
Showing on the plane
I couldn't read your name
Subtitles don't work on the credits,
Man that's a shame
And it's a shame 'bout me and you
No one to blame but, you

High School Never Ends

Four years you think for sure
That’s all you've got to endure
All the total dicks
All the stuck up chicks
So superficial, so immature
Then when you graduate
You take a look around and you say "Hey wait,
This is the same as where I just came from"
I thought it was over
Aw, that’s just great

The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who‘s the best dressed and who‘s having sex,
Who‘s got the money, who gets the honeys,
Who‘s kinda cute and who‘s just a mess
And you still don’t have the right look
And you don’t have the right friends
Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends
High school never ends

Check out the popular kids
You’ll never guess what Jessica did
How did Mary Kate lose all that weight
And Katie had a baby so I guess Tom’s straight
And the only thing that matters
Is climbing up that social ladder
Still care about your hair and the car you drive
Doesn’t matter if you’re sixteen or thirty-five

Reese Witherspoon -- She’s the prom queen
Bill Gates -- Captain of the chess team
Jack Black -- the clown
Brad Pitt -- the quarterback
I’ve seen it all before
I want my money back

The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who’s the best dressed and who’s having sex,
Who’s in the club and who’s on the drugs,
Who’s throwin' up before they digest
And you still don’t have the right look
And you don’t have the right friends
And you still listen to the same shit you did back then
High school never ends

(High school never ends)

The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who‘s the best dressed and who‘s having sex,
Who‘s got the money, who gets the honeys,
Who‘s kinda cute and who‘s just a mess
And you still don’t have the right look
And I still have the same three friends
And I’m pretty much the same as I was back then
High school never ends

High school never ends
High school never ends
Here we go again...

Val Kilmer

I always thought my movie
Would be a comedy
Not quite the tragedy that its become
More slapstick than chickflick
More Caddyshack than Breakfast At Tiffany's
So, thank me at the podium
For a lifetime of contribution
Turn on the cameras
Someone cue the extras
Hair and makeup to the set

Because the big screen's calling
Final casting call
Its your big shot baby your the next big star
Of another stupid movie
'bout a guy with a broken heart
Is falling apart
Your headed for the cutting room floor
And in the sequel honey
I'm the guy who gets the girl

So if you miss my movie
Get the DVD
Check out the chemistry
Between you and me
Less 'Raising Arizona'
More 'Steel Magnolias'
So when you walk down that red carpet
I hope you trip and fall
I hope someone squirts you with a watergun
A super soaker filled with pee

Because the big screen's calling
Final casting call
Its your big shot baby your the next big star
Of another stupid movie
About a guy with a broken heart
Is falling apart
Your headed for the cutting room floor
And in the sequel honey
I'm the guy who gets the girl

All apologies
To Kevin Costner
and that chick from monster
Give me Adam Sandler,
Will Ferrell, Belushi and even Val Kilmer
He was funny in 'Real Genius'

[Greg]
What about 'Top Gun'?
[Jaret]
No, 'Top Gun' wasn't funny
[Greg]
Whatever

Top secret was funny too
But he sucked as Batman

Because the big screen's calling
Final casting call
Its your big shot baby your the next big star
Of another dumb movie
About a guy with a broken heart
I'm falling apart

Steven Spielberg's calling and he's sending a car
It's your big shot baby, you're the next big star
Of another stupid movie
About a guy with a broken heart
Who's falling apart
Your headed for the cutting room floor
But in the sequel honey
I'm the guy who gets the girl

I'm the guy that gets the girl [repeat until the end]

[BACKGROUND (repeat until the end):]
Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, BRIGHTelushi and Akroid, Chris Farley, Bill Murray in 'Stripes'.
Eddie Murphy till 90, Chris Rock and John Candy, the cast of Hollywood Knights.
Mike Myers, Jim Carrey and the Farelly Brothers are more my style.
'Terms of Endearment' I didn't get it.
I'd much rather shut up and smile.

I'm Gay

(This fucking song is all personality)
(Dude, that's the shit!)

Well we've all heard about
how the guys in the band
Weren't the popular kids in school
And now you hate your parents
'cause of the way you turned out
But in the end the blame's on you

And we all sympathize with your torn-apart heart
And your really artistic worldly views
It sells records when you're sad these days
It's super cool to be mad these days

I think rock and roll is really funny
when it's serious

Don't hate us 'cause we're happy
Don't hate us 'cause we're beautiful
Don't hate us if we make you smile
Or if we go the extra mile
To make someone feel better
on a really shitty day
And if you're hearing what I'm saying then
I want to hear you say, "I'm gay!" (I'm gay!)
Say, "I'm gay!" (I'm gay!)

Let's start a movement, let's start it right now
And if you don't know where to start
I can show you I'm your new team captain
Put your left hand over your heart
and repeat after me

It's perfectly fine to be a happy individual
It's perfectly fine to be a happy individual
Chris, Gary? You guys wanna join in?
(Yeah, buddy. Sure. Sorry Dude)
It's perfectly fine to be a happy individual
It's perfectly fine to be a happy individual
Very Nice. Very Nice.

Don't hate us 'cause we're happy
Don't hate us 'cause we're miserable
Don't hate us if we make you smile
Or if we go the extra mile
To make someone feel better on a really shitty day
And if you're hearing what I'm saying then
I want to hear you say, "I'm gay!" (I'm gay!)
Say, "I'm gay!" (I'm gay!)

That's right, ladies and gentleman!
Pick up the phone
'cause Bowling For Soup is on the line!
And you don't have to be sad anymore!
You don't have to be mad anymore!
We can all join hands and do ring around
the freaking rosie!
In fact, can we can get some "La la"s up in here?

It sells records when you're sad these days
It's super cool to be mad these days
I think rock and roll is really funny
When it's serious

Yo, where my "La la"s at!

La la-la la, la-la la-la
La la la la
La la-la la, la-la la-la
La la la la
La la-la la, la-la la-la
La la la la
La la-la la, la-la la-la
La la la la
La la-la la, la-la la-la

Why Don't I Miss You?

Remember back at Ryder High
Wishing on stars in the Texas sky
I got your name tattooed
Across my heart how could we lose
Back in black when we were hand in hand
Two young kids like Jack and Diane
Falling at the speed of light
Burning up never felt so right

So why I don't miss you
Tell me what I am supposed to do
After all the shit that we've been through
I can't feel a thing
Maybe I was too high
Maybe I just sobered up too soon
You're still on the dark side of the moon
And always on my mind
So why don't I miss you

So many nights we drove around
King and queen of the whole damn town
Voted most likely to succeed
We were everybody's meant to be
Burned out plans to take over the world
Did I fuck it up, or did we just get bored
Of losing at the same old game
We had our 15 minutes of fame
We took it all the way
You can't say we didn't try

Why don't I miss the way you laugh
At everything I say
You mom's apple pie always blew me away
It's funny how I always write the same old song
I wonder if you ever sing along with me
Sing along with me

So why I don't miss you
Tell me what I am supposed to do
After all the shit we've been through
I can't feel a thing
Maybe I was too high
Maybe I sobered up too soon
You're still on the dark side of the moon
And always on my mind
So why do I miss you

A Friendly Goodbye

I can lay it on real thick
But I know how you don't like to get bogged down
With anything 'bout us
And our kick ass true love tale
Sorry I swore just then
Cause I know you hate it
And by the way that cake you baked me really sucked
But I ate it

[Chorus]
Cause I loved you
Even more that you could ever imagine
Here's a friendly goodbye
5,6,7
Ain't that a "b" with an itch
Ain't that a mother trucker
You can go to h-e-double hockey sticks
And f yourself
Cause I'm flippin' gosh darn sick
Of all the "s" words you put me through
So f-u
F-u

I can hang it out to dry
Cause I know how you like all your laundry neat
And not just thrown around
Like a chain saw in need of juggling
Sorry I flipped you off cause I know,
That you hate it
And that homemade porn I said that I erased
Well I saved it

[Chorus Repeat]

I'll send you a post card that says
I'm glad you're not here
I'll buy you a t-shirt
But I'll use it to wipe up the beer
That I spilled
While I was spilling my guts
To my friends about you
And I really don't have anything else nice to say

[Chorus Repeat]

Luckiest Loser

Man you're really one heck of a guy,
Best friends since junior high.
You showed me Playboy for the very first time, that was rad.
We saw Bon Jovi, we sat in the front row,
I pierced your ear right before the show.
We stole your brother's beer and he didn't know oo-a-oh

[Chorus]
Woah
Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun,
Did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some?
That girl is crazy she's a loco-motion
I know you know she used to be my girl.
You better run for cover 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
And did I mention that you both suck dot com.

And now you're stuck with her,
Like Mellencamp is stuck with Cougar
I guess that make me the luckiest loser

I met her at a keger passed out on the yard,
Getting in her pants wasn't really that hard.
6 months later she crashed my car, that was rad.
She's got a glow from her spray-on tan
Marilyn Manson is her favorite band.
I really think she might worship Satan, not a fan

[Chorus]
Woah
Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun,
Did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some?
That girl is crazy she's a loco-motion
I know you know she used to be my girl.
You should run for cover 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
And did I mention that you both suck dot com.

And now she's stuck with you,
Like a fat guy with a bad tattoo,
Like celebrity golf with Alice Cooper.
Guess that makes me the luckiest loser

Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, you deserve each other
I'll leave the when you take her home to meet your mother.
She was a super star, backseat of my car
Those days are over now the night goes on, yeah

[Spoken]
Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun,
Did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some?

That girl is crazy she's a loco-motion
I know you know she used to be my girl.
You'd better run for cover 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
And did I mention that you both suck dot com.

Now you're stuck with her like Mellencamp is stuck with Cougar
Like number 2 on a pooper scooper
I guess that makes me the luckiest loser
(That girl is crazy she's a loco-motion)
Luckiest loser
(I know you know she used to be my girl)
Luckiest loser
(You'd better run for cover 'cause seh's ticking like a time bomb)
Luckiest loser
(And did I mention that you both suck...)

Love Sick Stomach Ache (Sugar Coated Accident)

I woke up today.
That was my first mistake.
Woulda been better off
In the middle of a dream
I was havin' bout a brighter day.
Yesterday, I gave my heart away.
By the middle of the day,
You could search for a sucker
and buy it now on ebay.

Hold your head up and face the day.
Seems like everybody's got a way
to say "I'm doing OK."
I'm OK as long as you're happy-
Without me.
Without my hand- to hold.
Without my jacket- to keep you warm when you're cold.
Oh yeah you're cold.
Popsicle lovin, pie crusts,
Promises, ice cream kisses
That I'm really gonna miss you.
Smithsonian, peppermint,
Sugar coated accident, empty locker, cavity,
And now we're just history.
And this is all I ever wnated.
I can take the heartbreak.
Can I get something for my lovesick stomache ache?
I threw up today.
I kinda sorta prayed
To go back in time and rewrite these lines
But I'll settle for a Bloody Mary.
"What's that?" you say.
You say you're not so OK.
Looin down from the top of a 30-foot drop.
That's exactly what you wanted.

Hold your head up and face the day.
Seems like yesterday you got your way.
But I am doing OK.
What's that you say?
You say you're not really happy without me.
Without my hand- to hold.
Without my jacket
To keep you warm when you're cold.
This is all I ever wnated.
I can take the heartbreak.
Can I get something for my lovesick stomacheache?
And this is much more than I needed.
(Can I have some Ginger Ale?)
I feel the agony of the defeated.
(Tell her she can go to hell.)
And if you really wanna make me feel better
Just don't let her take the sweater
I was wearin when I met her
Cause I know she's gonna say it was hers.
But it's mine. That shit is mine.

Popsicle lovin, pie crusts,
Promises, ice cream kisses
That I'm really gonna miss you.
Smithsonian, peppermint,
Sugar coated accident, empty locker,
Cavity, and now we're just history.

Much More Beautiful Person

Jeanie has a dad that might as well be dead.
A case of day habit every other kids.
She's a much more beautiful person
Then you'll ever know.
She hates the world
At least the one outside.
She's a Myspace kid livin a virtual life.
She's a much more beautiful person
Than she'll ever know.

[CHORUS]
Close your eyes and the time tick by.
In this life, it's OK to cry, sometimes.
It can be hard to see what's right in front of you.
You're gonna smile sometimes,
Your worlds will collide.
I know you're tired of waiting,
So when you're through with hating,
You'll be a much more beautiful person,
And now you know.
And now you know.

Tommy can't help but feelin alone,
Walking the halls with his head hung low.
And he's a much more beautiful person
Than he'll ever know.
High school kids can be so nasty
In a cut-throat war for popularity.
A much more beautiful person then he'll ever know.

[CHORUS]

And you don't feel so lucky,
But I've seen so many things in you.
Believe me, I know just what you're going through.
So stand up and take a bow,
Hold your head high
Don't ever let them get you down.
It's all about you
And it's not what they do.
You're gonna smile sometimes,
Your worlds will collide.
I know you're tired of waiting,
So when you're through with hating,
You'll ba a much more beautiful person
And now you know. And now you know.

Friends Like You

Friends like you!
Who needs friends?
Friends like you!
Who needs friends?
Friends like you!
Who needs friends?
Friends like you!

You know ya left the window open
And now the cat is gone
And my girlfriend says
you're really sweet what the hell is going on?
You never gave me back my leather jacket
And now it's out of style
And I warned you that that incense burner
Would set my house on fire

Now I'm not going to beat you up
Or drag you through the mud
I just want all my CD's back
In the cases with the artwork still intact
Friends like you!
Who needs friends?
Friends like you!
Who needs friends?
Friends like you!
Who needs friends?
With friends like You-o-o-ou
Who needs friends?

Like when the guy put you in Reno,
Had a lawyer for a dad.
He got ours mixed up and sued my ass.
Man that was really cool
Of you to fix me up with a girl from work
That used to be a guy
When you lost all my money on the superbowl
It made me WANT TO CRY!
I'm not going to beat you up
or drag you through the mud
When the pending file sharing suit goes down
And why'd you need
The whole Metallica catalog anyway?
We haven't liked them for twelve years.
We like the Queers, we like beers
Stuck with Van Halen through the shitty years.
Now its over
YEAH!

You know ya left the back door open
AND NOW THE DOG IS GONE
And my girlfriend says you're really sweet
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?
And you never gave me back
My leather jacket and now it's outta style
I should have beat you
With your Birkenstock
When you set my house on fire!
FRIENDS LIKE YOU!
Who needs friends?
Friends like you!
Who needs friends?
With friends like You-o-o-ou, who needs friends?

When We Die

Well I know that it's early and it's too hard to think
And the broken empty bottle's a reminder in the sink
But I thought that i should tell you, if it's not too late to say
I can put back all the pieces, they just might not fit the same

Cause nothing's worth losing
Especially the chance to make it right

And I know that we're gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes are gonna fade over time
As long as we live time passes by
And we won't get it back when we die

Well I know it's been years now and I don't look the same
And the hopes and dreams you had for me you thought went down the drain
And the room feels so empty where my pictures used to be
And I can't say that I blame you but you can't blame me

Cause nothing's worth losing
Especially the chance to make it right

And I know that we're gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes are gonna fade over time
As long as we live time passes by
And we won't get it back when we die

Come over, come over
Cause I gotta know if I am doing this all on my own
Come over, come over
How can I show you if you're not here?

And I know that we're gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes are gonna fade over time
As long as we live time passes by
And we won't get it back when we die

I know that we're gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes are gonna fade over time
As long as we live time passes by
And we won't get it back when we die

Come over, come over
Come over, come over
Come over, come over
I gotta know
We won't get it back when we die
Well I know that it's early...

99 Biker Friends

Such a big man, such a little chick,
I think it all goes back to your tiny...
Pick-up truck in the driveway, with a sticker on the window, "Rest in Peace #3"

Tell all your friends how you put her in her place,
7 pounds of make-up just to hide her beat-up face.
Such a pretty face.

[Chorus]
It takes a tough man to slap her around,
Such a bad guy to keep such a good girl down.
She's wearing shades but we all see, behind the tinted glass
And I've got 99 biker friends, that want to kick your ass.

You tell her that you're sorry,
Blame it on the beer,
Your dad was mean to you.
Your friends think your an ass hole,
And I do too.
Overcompensating, for your small shoes.
Taking her away, but you won't say when
Hold her in your arms tell her this won't happen again
When will this end?

[Chorus]
Well, it takes a tough man to slap her around,
Such a bad guy to keep such a good girl down.
She's wearing shades but we all see, behind the tinted glass
And I've got 99 biker friends, that want to kick your ...

I wish Bruce Lee was here right now
(With his trusty nun-)
Chuck Norris is still alive,
So let's call up Walker, Texas Ranger
All the dudes from Danger Danger
Get me A-Team, 50-Cent with his bling-bling,
And a couple of prison guards

[Chorus]
It takes a tough man to slap her around,
Such a bad guy to keep such a good girl down.
You're such a tough guy I can't wait to bring you down,
She's wearing shades but we all see, behind the tinted glass
And I've got 99 biker friends, that want to kick your ass.

(99 biker friends)
I hope that you can run fast
(99 biker friends)
Start running now
(99 biker friends)
We're gonna kick your ass!

Don't Let It Be Love

I was out on the front line, doin' just fine.
Put it all behind me
'til I cam across a letter from an old friend,
Askin' "How you been?"
Stopped me dead in my tracks
And shot me right back there to '02
And it was me and you
What am I supposed to say?
I hope I don't fall head over heals
Cause I know how it's gonna feel.
And I don't think I could live through you again.

[CHORUS]
So don't don't don't
Let it be love love love
Because it hurts a lot, like it or not.
If it comes down to love or money,
It won't be love love love
It won't be love love love.
And I know I should know better.
Man, I hate this stuff. Don't let it be love.

Let's think in the front line.
I'm on the drop line.
So fill me in, bash me over the head.
Wish I was dead. Time heals everything,
Time heals everything.
At least that's what I've read.
Here we go again. We're head over heals
And I know how it's gonna feel.
When it crashes and it burns
It'll be too much. So

[CHORUS]

And if I ever hear that song again
I just might kill someone.
Not literally
But the thought has crossed my mind.

So don't don't don't
Let it be love love love
I'm much better with
WHAM! BAM! Thank you Ma'am

[CHORUS]

If You Come Back To Me/Outro

You were right all along.
You know I hate that, admitting I was wrong.
So I don't answer the phone when it's you.
It's funny when I see the caller I.D.
Shows the phone line's still in your dad's name.
So hey, I'm doing OK.

And I'll get back to you if you come back to me.
Your voice is so Marilyn Monroe.
It's funny how that makes me wanna smash the phone.
I wonder if J.F.K. ever felt this way.
All alone, like Summer when it snows.
So out of place, so out of those fake smiles.
I used to do so well.
And here's the part of the song
Where I start to break down like my broken heart.
But it's not gonna matter
The lines are all down from a hurricane
They should have named after you.
Maybe I should get a Scorpions ringtone
To remind me of you.

[CHORUS]
So hey, I'm doing OK.
And I'll get back to you if you come back to me.
Oh, here we go.
Just like a broken record skippin' apart
That we both oughta know by heart.
([2nd time:]
And I can still hear you singing along)

We were right there,
And now it seems so tragic.
No happy ending,
Now this whole thing seems so drastic.
You asked me 20 times
Where we could find our magic.
Ask David Copperfield or even Rick O'Casic.
David Blaine,(where's the magic?)
Lance Burton, (where's the magic?)
Harry Potter,(where's the magic?)
I used to think pop rocks were magic.
Sigfried and Roy, (where's the magic?)
Shaquille O'Neal,
(why'd you leave the magic?)
You asked me 20 times,
Or was it 28,
And your greatest trick ever
Was your great escape.

[CHORUS]

Bowling For Soup - The Great Burrito Extortion Case lyrics

Sign in